Tag: brain health

Thursday Real Talk: That 4am Brain

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ Leave a comment

How is it that my 4am brain conjures up thoughts that have not taken up space in my thinking for anywhere between 4 – 6 months. It’s like all of a sudden, everything is quiet and the gust of meddling thoughts circulating is so strong that anything will come to the forefront.

Such as;

Why did I respond that way in that conversation?

What if they felt a certain way because of the way you responded in that conversation, that you had 3 months ago, with that person who is practically a stranger AND whom you’ll probably never see again?!

Why didn’t I cook something else for dinner tonight?

I need to call that person back. I hope something isn’t wrong.

I wonder what the weather will be like tomorrow.

The amount of tabs I have open in my brain at 4am is ridiculous. They ebb and flow between pretty harmless thoughts, to worries, to genuine concern that then results in me staying up longer to try and resolve the hypothetic issue my own brain created.

Am I alone in this or is this a common occurrence for those whose body clock decides it’s time to start up your day at 4am?!

Thankfully over time I’ve come to realise the triggers for these 4am wake-ups (stress & wine) and what I need to do to ensure I’m not a total zombie the following day (set my alarm a bit later, give myself a good half an hour+ to drink my morning coffee and wakeup, wash my hair = the ultimate ‘starting fresh’ method).

I’ve come to respect that these 4am wake ups may not be something I can control all the time. So instead, it’s an opportunity to; practice wrangling those open tabs that are sitting there being unhelpful & not loading properly; take a moment to do some deep breathing; tell myself ‘everything will be okay in less than 3 hours’.

Comment below some of your methods during and after your 4am wake up 💬

Thursday Real Talk: Are Opportunities Really That Scary?

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ 2 Comments

I’ve always been one of those people who thought that opportunities were scary because opportunities change things. They can alter your path and most of the time, opportunities bring change that you may not have planned for. I was fearful of this for a very long time until I realised something quite significant.

Opportunities do not have to be BIG! They don’t have to be so large that your whole life upheaves for them.

Opportunities can be; choosing to take that spare 10 minutes to go grab a coffee for yourself instead of making one; rather than spending the evening alone, text a friend and see what they’re up too; or if you’re in a new environment with new people, it’s an opportunity to make a new friend.

Saying yes to these opportunities could help to build your self-care routines, connections with those you love and care for, and find new people to love and care for in your circle. By no means are these opportunities not life changing, they are but they just look a little different to what the typic ‘life changing opportunity may be’. And they are still quite significant!

What I’m coming to learn is that if you don’t say yes to these types of self-building opportunities, they cannot lead you onto finding the confidence and circle of encouragement to say yes to some bigger opportunities, such as; changing your job; showing someone your worth through action; or building something new from scratch.

All of these ‘big’ opportunities still require those initial, un-life heaving opportunities of; self care; consideration; connection; and self-worth.

So maybe we need to change our perspective of opportunities as we move into 2024 this weekend.

If we were to scale it back, the flow on effect of saying ‘yes’ to a daily opportunities, could in fact be more effective and enhance more stability and strength for when that big opportunity shows itself. And at that point, the big opportunity may not look so scary anymore x

Thursday Real Talk: Don’t look back, you’re not going that way

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ Leave a comment

Yesterday, I had a day. My brain was saying “go, go, go – you’ve got a busy day ahead and we need to get moving”, but my body was telling me otherwise and I didn’t want to listen, but eventually, it made me.

I started to feel as if I was going backwards, when in reality – I’d just filled my plate too much that it was not possible for my body to process the high speed in which we needed to function for the day/week.

I wasn’t going backwards, in fact I was moving forward. This was just another experience that leads me to understand why listening to your body is important. Listening to the signs of exhaustion, busy-ness and the need to be your best self at every facet of your life isn’t practical – and it’s also not realistic.

So today, I’m saying “thank you body, for telling me I was overloaded yesterday” and “I understand that I need to take things a bit slower today”.

I hope you also find a snippet of time in your day in which you can reflect on how you can be kind to your body x

Thursday Real Talk: The Key is Delegation

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ Leave a comment

It can be hard in these busy, bustling lives of ours to not feel as if we have too much on our plates. For me personally, I choose to juggle (key word here is choose – we’re usually in control of how much we take on), full time work, recreational sport, book blogging and reviewing, interviewing authors, developing a book festival and making time for friends & family.

I’m not here to boast or brag – I don’t want your empathy as I’ve said, it’s a choice I make – but I’m explaining this to give context in how try to use delegation in my life.

At this stage of my life, I choose to delegate; developing the book festival and friend & family time.

I delegate festival time by having found the most wonderful people who share it’s passion. These people have formed our strong and involved committee, whom each have a plate the size of mine, if not larger. But the key is we choose to delegate areas in which each members skills are going to excel. For example, I love communicating with others. So my areas of excelling include email correspondence, finding local community members to support us, attending networking events and organising our meetings + some more on the creative side of things. Therefore, anything that tends to fall outside of this scope, we discuss who will best suit the task. This is because somebody else in the room will find a task related to their skillset a heck of a lot easier than I, and will have the capacity to have this said task knocked over in 2 hours, compared to my 6. That my friends, is delegation at work.

With my friend & family time, I also choose to delegate. I generally choose to dedicate my Sundays spending quality time with those I value and who bring value to my life in return. You will see online that I tend to do my baking of cakes, biscuits, roasts and entertaining meals on a Sunday. This is because I delegate my other ‘need-to-do’ tasks throughout the week, leaving my Sunday for visitors. I think this comes from growing up and always dedicating time as a family to a Sunday night dinner together. As Italians, it was always pasta on a Sunday – and funnily enough, I still do that now at times. I personally choose a Sunday because it is typically known as our day of rest, but mentally for me, it’s also a ‘fill-my-cup’ day before heading back into the Monday to Friday grind.

I instantly resonated with this post saying the simple 4 words of “Don’t carry it all”, because I’ve had times in my life where delegation wasn’t my strong suit. And don’t get me wrong, as someone who has strong perfectionist traits, this can be extremely hard to work on and I do slip up – it’s only natural and normal. But choosing to have a healthy system of delegation in your life is something I would encourage you to try. And lastly, find those people who are in your corner and WILL cheer you on and work around your choices – they are your people!

Slow down, you’re doing fine

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ 3 Comments

I don’t know about you, but I have the ability to let my brain run at a million miles an hour and sometimes, this isn’t healthy.

I tend to have the skill of thinking about every decision I could, would, should and should have made in a span of 10 minutes OR I elaborate on the ‘what if’s’. Now sure, don’t get me wrong, reflection is a very very insightful and helpful tool for appropriate situations but when it overtakes your ability to think clearly – not so helpful.

To slow down my brain and emotions, I’ve taken to using a new skill introduced to me recently.

Spend a moment letting those thoughts in. Acknowledge them. Mentally tell yourself “okay, you have 2 minutes to catastrophise, hypotheticalise, reimagine what has and will be” – and then, after that 2 minutes is up, push them out of your brain. You run them out fo town, bat them for 6 and all that!

By giving the thoughts time to do their thing and then sending them away, you’re in control. You have the ability to let them in when you want too, when you’re ready and if it’s the right time. If it’s not the right time – see you later overthinking, I don’t have time for you today 👋🏼

So sometimes it’s good to remember, slow down you’re doing fine.

If you have helpful meditation and brain slowing tips, techniques and skills under your belt – drop them in the comments below. Let’s help another book friend out today 😊💫

🖼 @theeverythingadvocate

Thursday Real Talk: A Burning Desire for Change

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ Leave a comment

Do you ever get to a stage where you feel that if something doesn’t change in your life, you won’t have the space to grow? I like to call this A Burning Desire for Change.

I think I’m at that stage and sometimes it’s hard to understand where it’s come from, where it’s going and what will happen next. It’s a flow. And a somewhat terrifying flow for people (like myself as my friends and family would confirm) who do not like change.

Change is defined as; to alter or modify; an act or process in which something becomes different. Thanks Google.

I think the word that stands out to me the most here, and it could be quite different for you reading this, is process. Change is a process. Change is not linear, nor can it be sudden in some instances or can it be forever. But something about change is that once the idea has sprouted in your mind, body and soul, it can be hard to quiet it down.

Desire is defined as; strongly wishing for or wanting something. … Wanting.

So if we put together – a wanting to alter the process of things, we have A Burning Desire for Change.

My wanting the alter the process of things has come in the form of going back to study. I am currently underway in studying to become a Librarian Assistant. I love bookstores and have a want to be in them long-term. However, there is a burning desire inside of me to experience books and what we can do in the form of books and community combined. And this comes in the form of a library. I guess from the outside looking in, there is starting to be a melding of Social Work values and books.

What an exciting and nerve racking time ahead! But again, change is not linear and nothing in life goes to plan. Sometimes, as humans we just need to take one day at a time. One breathe at a time. One change at a time.

Are you a lover of change? At what stage of life did your Burning Desire for Change come around?

Mel x