Thursday Real Talk: A Burning Desire for Change

Do you ever get to a stage where you feel that if something doesn’t change in your life, you won’t have the space to grow? I like to call this A Burning Desire for Change.

I think I’m at that stage and sometimes it’s hard to understand where it’s come from, where it’s going and what will happen next. It’s a flow. And a somewhat terrifying flow for people (like myself as my friends and family would confirm) who do not like change.

Change is defined as; to alter or modify; an act or process in which something becomes different. Thanks Google.

I think the word that stands out to me the most here, and it could be quite different for you reading this, is process. Change is a process. Change is not linear, nor can it be sudden in some instances or can it be forever. But something about change is that once the idea has sprouted in your mind, body and soul, it can be hard to quiet it down.

Desire is defined as; strongly wishing for or wanting something. … Wanting.

So if we put together – a wanting to alter the process of things, we have A Burning Desire for Change.

My wanting the alter the process of things has come in the form of going back to study. I am currently underway in studying to become a Librarian Assistant. I love bookstores and have a want to be in them long-term. However, there is a burning desire inside of me to experience books and what we can do in the form of books and community combined. And this comes in the form of a library. I guess from the outside looking in, there is starting to be a melding of Social Work values and books.

What an exciting and nerve racking time ahead! But again, change is not linear and nothing in life goes to plan. Sometimes, as humans we just need to take one day at a time. One breathe at a time. One change at a time.

Are you a lover of change? At what stage of life did your Burning Desire for Change come around?

Mel x

Real Talk Thursday: That feeling of self-doubt

I find it challenging to convince my brain sometimes that I am the best person for the job. Self-doubt can weigh in on decision making in my life far too heavily at times.

Let’s talk an example; recently, I decided to expose myself to a new opportunity/challenge and perspective. At the time of this challenge taking place, my thought patterns when a little like this … “YES! I can do this.”, “I tick all the boxes.”, “I have the ability to make this fit in my life and thrive.”. All great and probably truthful things, correct?

However, a day or so after being in that positive frame of mind, performing at a happiness rate and with confidence that is a true part of myself, I began to doubt my ability. Thinking thoughts of; “Maybe I won’t be good enough”, “I probably wouldn’t be the right fit.”, “What if I can’t handle it?”, “Surely, there is someone better than me to do this”. These overpowering negative thoughts tend to hold more traction in the human brain than the positive thoughts. Why do you think that is?

For me, I think the negative thoughts can trigger that overthinking part of my brain where hypothetical downfall is more and more inevitable. The hardest part is challenging those thoughts and proving to yourself why they are not true.

Therefore, I am attempting to change:

“Maybe I won’t be good enough” INTO “I am good enough and capable as I have succeeded in this task or identical before in X,Y,Z.”

“I probably won’t be the right fit” INTO “Why should I try and fit when maybe what this experience is asking me to do is be myself and that in fact might be the perfect fit.”

“What if I can’t handle it?” INTO “This experience may be hard at first but if I am strong enough to ask for help when I need it, learn from those with more experience and take on valid feedback, I most likely will be able to handle it.”

“Surely, there is someone better than me to do this” INTO “I am capable and strong. I am intelligent and have an abundance of experience in preparation for this challenge. I could in fact BE the BEST person for this.”

I think a lot of these affirmations are in fact transferable to many experience and aspects of life. As I can only speak from my own experiences, I have learnt that self-doubt will stop my personal self growth if I do not challenge it and remove it from my thought patterns. Growing is part of life and changing paths is also part of life. I guess that is just some of life’s beauty, we manifest what we wish to get out of this life and self-doubt is not on my list people!