Tag: mental health

Thursday Real Talk: Being in the moment 🌱

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes, I think we have moments where we need to be present and let our body and brain catch up from the experiences you may have just rushed through or placed at the forefront of your brain, leaving behind the other not as important things.

I guess that’s prioritising, but sometimes prioritising quickly and in the moment can jolt your body and brain unexpectedly.

I think it’s important to have patience when the come down happens. The come down from the rush. The come down from the quick thinking and immediate decision making.

‘be where your feet are’ is certainly a good idea when you’re resetting into the calm, the present and your routines. Being present is one of the most valuable perspectives for me this week – it may just be for you too 💫

Thursday Real Talk: A Gentle Week

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ 4 Comments

The last two weeks, I came across some challenges I was not expecting to face and then some other regular ones. Let’s just say the past fortnight has been hard on my brain, body and ability to get up and enjoy something in each day.

But that’s okay, we’re over the hill now because on the one day that I had 3 relatively unhappy things happen, 1 good thing happened and I just needed to focus on that. Because it was majorly good and I have the internal belief that everything happens for a reason.

So that lands us at this week. This week has been a gentle week.

This week I’ve only said ‘Yes’ to the things that bring me joy.

I’ve cooked a homemade meal every night for dinner. I’ve had meetings with local creatives for the Riverina Readers Festival. I filmed a piece for local tv about our Book Festival and a book event we have coming up. I took myself to get a much deserved massage. I’ve made appointments to help improve my future self. And this weekend, I’m spending time with friends in a happy and celebratory environment.

This may still come across as a lot, but this is considered a slow week for me at the moment 🙈 And for that, I’m very grateful 💫

Tell me – what’s an activity you like to do on a slow week?

Xx Mel

🎨 @holliestartup

Thursday Real Talk: That 4am Brain

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How is it that my 4am brain conjures up thoughts that have not taken up space in my thinking for anywhere between 4 – 6 months. It’s like all of a sudden, everything is quiet and the gust of meddling thoughts circulating is so strong that anything will come to the forefront.

Such as;

Why did I respond that way in that conversation?

What if they felt a certain way because of the way you responded in that conversation, that you had 3 months ago, with that person who is practically a stranger AND whom you’ll probably never see again?!

Why didn’t I cook something else for dinner tonight?

I need to call that person back. I hope something isn’t wrong.

I wonder what the weather will be like tomorrow.

The amount of tabs I have open in my brain at 4am is ridiculous. They ebb and flow between pretty harmless thoughts, to worries, to genuine concern that then results in me staying up longer to try and resolve the hypothetic issue my own brain created.

Am I alone in this or is this a common occurrence for those whose body clock decides it’s time to start up your day at 4am?!

Thankfully over time I’ve come to realise the triggers for these 4am wake-ups (stress & wine) and what I need to do to ensure I’m not a total zombie the following day (set my alarm a bit later, give myself a good half an hour+ to drink my morning coffee and wakeup, wash my hair = the ultimate ‘starting fresh’ method).

I’ve come to respect that these 4am wake ups may not be something I can control all the time. So instead, it’s an opportunity to; practice wrangling those open tabs that are sitting there being unhelpful & not loading properly; take a moment to do some deep breathing; tell myself ‘everything will be okay in less than 3 hours’.

Comment below some of your methods during and after your 4am wake up 💬

Thursday Real Talk: Don’t look back, you’re not going that way

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Yesterday, I had a day. My brain was saying “go, go, go – you’ve got a busy day ahead and we need to get moving”, but my body was telling me otherwise and I didn’t want to listen, but eventually, it made me.

I started to feel as if I was going backwards, when in reality – I’d just filled my plate too much that it was not possible for my body to process the high speed in which we needed to function for the day/week.

I wasn’t going backwards, in fact I was moving forward. This was just another experience that leads me to understand why listening to your body is important. Listening to the signs of exhaustion, busy-ness and the need to be your best self at every facet of your life isn’t practical – and it’s also not realistic.

So today, I’m saying “thank you body, for telling me I was overloaded yesterday” and “I understand that I need to take things a bit slower today”.

I hope you also find a snippet of time in your day in which you can reflect on how you can be kind to your body x

Thursday Real Talk: It’s OK to Have a Wobble

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It’s ok to have a wobble 🍮

Sometimes, life doesn’t go to plan. People don’t always act in the kindest way you know that they can because they themselves are having a rough trot of things at the moment.

Sometimes, life gives you lemons.

I have these days, everyone does. They are days when you wish you could just jump back into your pjs by the time lunch rolls around and soak up some cozy time reading, back in bed, maybe with a cup of tea or slice of chocolate cake.

I mean, I don’t know what these days look like for you but what I do know is … sometimes if you don’t let your body, brain and heart have these wobble days, the wobble days can last longer than they need too.

So I guess I’m telling you that, if you need a mental health day once and a while, tell the people around you that that is what you need.

Try to explain to them what it is that’s going to help you and why you think you need a wobble day.

Then ask them to check in on you in a day or two.

If your wobble day has turned into longer than just a day or two, maybe you can try explaining a little bit more to that trusted person. They may be able to help you find a new perspective you couldn’t see from under your cozy bed sheets x

Thursday Real Talk: The Key is Delegation

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ Leave a comment

It can be hard in these busy, bustling lives of ours to not feel as if we have too much on our plates. For me personally, I choose to juggle (key word here is choose – we’re usually in control of how much we take on), full time work, recreational sport, book blogging and reviewing, interviewing authors, developing a book festival and making time for friends & family.

I’m not here to boast or brag – I don’t want your empathy as I’ve said, it’s a choice I make – but I’m explaining this to give context in how try to use delegation in my life.

At this stage of my life, I choose to delegate; developing the book festival and friend & family time.

I delegate festival time by having found the most wonderful people who share it’s passion. These people have formed our strong and involved committee, whom each have a plate the size of mine, if not larger. But the key is we choose to delegate areas in which each members skills are going to excel. For example, I love communicating with others. So my areas of excelling include email correspondence, finding local community members to support us, attending networking events and organising our meetings + some more on the creative side of things. Therefore, anything that tends to fall outside of this scope, we discuss who will best suit the task. This is because somebody else in the room will find a task related to their skillset a heck of a lot easier than I, and will have the capacity to have this said task knocked over in 2 hours, compared to my 6. That my friends, is delegation at work.

With my friend & family time, I also choose to delegate. I generally choose to dedicate my Sundays spending quality time with those I value and who bring value to my life in return. You will see online that I tend to do my baking of cakes, biscuits, roasts and entertaining meals on a Sunday. This is because I delegate my other ‘need-to-do’ tasks throughout the week, leaving my Sunday for visitors. I think this comes from growing up and always dedicating time as a family to a Sunday night dinner together. As Italians, it was always pasta on a Sunday – and funnily enough, I still do that now at times. I personally choose a Sunday because it is typically known as our day of rest, but mentally for me, it’s also a ‘fill-my-cup’ day before heading back into the Monday to Friday grind.

I instantly resonated with this post saying the simple 4 words of “Don’t carry it all”, because I’ve had times in my life where delegation wasn’t my strong suit. And don’t get me wrong, as someone who has strong perfectionist traits, this can be extremely hard to work on and I do slip up – it’s only natural and normal. But choosing to have a healthy system of delegation in your life is something I would encourage you to try. And lastly, find those people who are in your corner and WILL cheer you on and work around your choices – they are your people!

Slow down, you’re doing fine

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ 3 Comments

I don’t know about you, but I have the ability to let my brain run at a million miles an hour and sometimes, this isn’t healthy.

I tend to have the skill of thinking about every decision I could, would, should and should have made in a span of 10 minutes OR I elaborate on the ‘what if’s’. Now sure, don’t get me wrong, reflection is a very very insightful and helpful tool for appropriate situations but when it overtakes your ability to think clearly – not so helpful.

To slow down my brain and emotions, I’ve taken to using a new skill introduced to me recently.

Spend a moment letting those thoughts in. Acknowledge them. Mentally tell yourself “okay, you have 2 minutes to catastrophise, hypotheticalise, reimagine what has and will be” – and then, after that 2 minutes is up, push them out of your brain. You run them out fo town, bat them for 6 and all that!

By giving the thoughts time to do their thing and then sending them away, you’re in control. You have the ability to let them in when you want too, when you’re ready and if it’s the right time. If it’s not the right time – see you later overthinking, I don’t have time for you today 👋🏼

So sometimes it’s good to remember, slow down you’re doing fine.

If you have helpful meditation and brain slowing tips, techniques and skills under your belt – drop them in the comments below. Let’s help another book friend out today 😊💫

🖼 @theeverythingadvocate

Thursday Real Talk: A Burning Desire for Change

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ Leave a comment

Do you ever get to a stage where you feel that if something doesn’t change in your life, you won’t have the space to grow? I like to call this A Burning Desire for Change.

I think I’m at that stage and sometimes it’s hard to understand where it’s come from, where it’s going and what will happen next. It’s a flow. And a somewhat terrifying flow for people (like myself as my friends and family would confirm) who do not like change.

Change is defined as; to alter or modify; an act or process in which something becomes different. Thanks Google.

I think the word that stands out to me the most here, and it could be quite different for you reading this, is process. Change is a process. Change is not linear, nor can it be sudden in some instances or can it be forever. But something about change is that once the idea has sprouted in your mind, body and soul, it can be hard to quiet it down.

Desire is defined as; strongly wishing for or wanting something. … Wanting.

So if we put together – a wanting to alter the process of things, we have A Burning Desire for Change.

My wanting the alter the process of things has come in the form of going back to study. I am currently underway in studying to become a Librarian Assistant. I love bookstores and have a want to be in them long-term. However, there is a burning desire inside of me to experience books and what we can do in the form of books and community combined. And this comes in the form of a library. I guess from the outside looking in, there is starting to be a melding of Social Work values and books.

What an exciting and nerve racking time ahead! But again, change is not linear and nothing in life goes to plan. Sometimes, as humans we just need to take one day at a time. One breathe at a time. One change at a time.

Are you a lover of change? At what stage of life did your Burning Desire for Change come around?

Mel x

Sundays in bed with … The Daily Stoic

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This blog tag was originally hosted by Midnight Book Girl and it aims to share how you’re spending your Sunday reading 🤓

This Sunday I am waking up to read The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman 🧠

Now I am new to these stoicism theories, texts and concepts. I’ve been mostly introduced to them by someone close in my life and The Daily Stoic is my first taster.

For me, I am really seeking this book out as something to read each morning, as it sets a precedent for each day of the year. For example, todays message is:

HOW TO HAVE A GOOD DAY: Here is how you guarantee to have a good day: do good things. Any other source of joy is outside of your control or is nonrenewable. But this one is all you, all the time, and unending. It is the ultimate form of self-reliance.

I don’t know about you but I really needed to hear this today. Somehow each passage daily, as humans, we can find some way of applying and resonating this with our lives and current lifestyle. I highly recommend giving this a try and maybe even keep a journal to write down your minds initial thoughts and feelings about each daily passage.

🎧 ‘Folklore’ by Taylor Swift – currently obsessed with this album, I think it is connected to the winter weather rolling in 🌧

Purchase or download your copy via this link: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman

Real Talk Thursday: That feeling of self-doubt

~ melreviewsherbooks ~ 1 Comment
@byholliestartup

I find it challenging to convince my brain sometimes that I am the best person for the job. Self-doubt can weigh in on decision making in my life far too heavily at times.

Let’s talk an example; recently, I decided to expose myself to a new opportunity/challenge and perspective. At the time of this challenge taking place, my thought patterns when a little like this … “YES! I can do this.”, “I tick all the boxes.”, “I have the ability to make this fit in my life and thrive.”. All great and probably truthful things, correct?

However, a day or so after being in that positive frame of mind, performing at a happiness rate and with confidence that is a true part of myself, I began to doubt my ability. Thinking thoughts of; “Maybe I won’t be good enough”, “I probably wouldn’t be the right fit.”, “What if I can’t handle it?”, “Surely, there is someone better than me to do this”. These overpowering negative thoughts tend to hold more traction in the human brain than the positive thoughts. Why do you think that is?

For me, I think the negative thoughts can trigger that overthinking part of my brain where hypothetical downfall is more and more inevitable. The hardest part is challenging those thoughts and proving to yourself why they are not true.

Therefore, I am attempting to change:

“Maybe I won’t be good enough” INTO “I am good enough and capable as I have succeeded in this task or identical before in X,Y,Z.”

“I probably won’t be the right fit” INTO “Why should I try and fit when maybe what this experience is asking me to do is be myself and that in fact might be the perfect fit.”

“What if I can’t handle it?” INTO “This experience may be hard at first but if I am strong enough to ask for help when I need it, learn from those with more experience and take on valid feedback, I most likely will be able to handle it.”

“Surely, there is someone better than me to do this” INTO “I am capable and strong. I am intelligent and have an abundance of experience in preparation for this challenge. I could in fact BE the BEST person for this.”

I think a lot of these affirmations are in fact transferable to many experience and aspects of life. As I can only speak from my own experiences, I have learnt that self-doubt will stop my personal self growth if I do not challenge it and remove it from my thought patterns. Growing is part of life and changing paths is also part of life. I guess that is just some of life’s beauty, we manifest what we wish to get out of this life and self-doubt is not on my list people!